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Happy Birthday Father

29 Sep

This week was my father’s birthday. I haven’t seen my dad for over 13 years now. I wonder how it’s going to feel when this much time has passed without my brother. It is overwhelming to think about it but we are close to 3 years now. Life without my brother feels like I am living someone […]

On my dear aunt’s birthday

4 Sep

Marietica is my dear aunt. God has given me real nice aunts and I love them all, but Marietica had a special thing for kids and, especially, my brother. She will always have a place in my heart for that reason. Here is my dedication to her. I did the picture from a little porcelain basket she […]

July 4

4 Jul

Yes. Another holiday. Why can’t we have normal days all year long? Whose idea was, anyways, to have celebrations and fireworks? I don’t like them. Selfish as it is. I am not in the mood to celebrate ANY day. I take refuge in God, I talk to Him almost constantly and….I paint. That’s what I […]


22 Jun

These days are a bit overwhelming. My relatives are visiting from overseas tomorrow and I really want to see them; however, I get anxious when the family “gathers,” it is not a good feeling and I feel guilty. My guilt is because I know I need to enjoy the present, the blessing of being surrounded […]

Mother’s Day. Third Year

12 May

Today is Mother’s Day. Another “Special Occasion Day.” I don’t like special occasions anymore. I do much better with regular days because I just go with the flow. As expected I think about my brother and my mom. I am happy to have her this weekend, and that she is alive and with us for another year. What a […]

My true home, heaven

29 Mar

My true home, heaven

For three things I thank God every day of my life: thanks that he has given me knowledge of his works; deep thanks that he has set in my darkness the lamp of faith; deep, deepest thanks that I have another life to look forward to – a life joyous with light and flowers and heavenly […]

I know whom I have believed

23 Feb

This month of February marked another birthday for my beloved brother. It was also my anniversary day. Sweet and Sour Day. Valentine’s Day just 2 days after his 26th month anniversary. Yes, 2 years and 2 months. Soon it will be 2 and 3 months. I also started a new job. Life keeps going on and keeps changing so […]

Hello again

24 Jan

I’ve been absent from my dear blog for almost a month. I have been busy with my other website. It is amazing how much you can learn these days for free. I have been doing some reflection this month and want to focus on CLARITY. I need to stop thinking bad thoughts but it is […]

I long to be

22 Nov

Today is Thanksgiving. Only two years ago I was with my beloved brother. I wish I could turn back time and live that Thursday and Friday for ever and make those 2 days perfect for all of us in the family. I am now alone with my sister’s dog: Chico. My brother used to call him […]

They are here again

2 Nov

I’m so glad October is over. Halloween or “October fest” as Christians refer to is over. Three more holidays to go. I am in the “red zone” This is the time I stop going to stores that play music, restaurants, any place that has holidays decorations, I watch movies I have. Very minimum TV. Jeff is trained. He […]

New wave

27 Sep

The music I listen to now needs to have a very important attribute: joyful. The type of music that makes you want to dance. I found the 70’s roller skate music meets this requirement. I listen to Pandora a lot and this is my fav station. I also play salsa from Celia Cruz and Grupo Niche. I […]

My problem

1 Sep

Almost 21 months already. I miss my brother so much. Day and night I think about him. I dream about him and 99.9% of those dreams are sad or heavy. I’ve been thinking why do I still have ugly dreams and I still have horrible thoughts? That can’t be pleasing to God and definitely not pleasing […]