Are you grieving?

What I have to say about grieving is very personal. It is truly based on my own walk through the dark days of sorrow. I know everyone is different and no circumstance is the same. My loss came unexpectedly and in December. These facts made things worse for me and my family. I guess when you have time to hold and love that person for a last time, it is much better than if you don’t have that opportunity. However, the sentiment of loss is equaly devastating.

As I have mentioned in one of my posts before, when my brother passed away, I knew I had to depend on Jesus. My family is very small and we are very private. We didn’t have a lot of people visiting, just a few. Even between us we grieve separate and in our own way. This method is not the best (in my criteria.) In fact, it is more difficult because family should feel and stay closer in such times, but this is the way my family is, and this is the way I am grieving.  Apart from Jeff (my husband,) no one has really seen my pain closer than him.

If you are going through grief or know someone going through it, it is important to have at least one person to rely on. In my case my husband was the pillar I needed so much. He talked to me every day about the assurance of a loving God, about God’s promises and provisions. He remind me how blessed my brother was to be with Jesus, and as much as we loved him he would never trade that heavenly place with this earth. For me all those words were great therapy and they will always be. It has been 15 months since my beloved is gone and I still need to hear those words. I searched for Christian counseling but it didn’t help me much. I also went to a grief share class (I will put link for your convenience,) but personally, it didn’t help me at all! On the contrary, it made things worse for me. It is not their fault. My mistake is that I went way too soon. I wanted to get some relief to the humongous pain I was feeling but I realized there were no shortcuts to this. I had to live it and deal with it one day at a time; one second at a time. We can’t rush grief.

So from my own experience, the first steps I took and I’m still taking are:

Seek God, every minute of my day and night!

Find at least a person I could rely on.

I cry whenever I have to and I try not to pay attention to people’s expectations

If you need to, seek medical help. I went to a psychiatrist. Sometimes it’s just necessary. I was very lucky and blessed to respond well to the first med that it was prescribed to me. I call it the magic pill because it helped me to sleep and it opened my appetite ( a little too much) but the extra pounds are welcome

Write. I just wrote and wrote and wrote for no one but for me and God. I put all my anger, my frustrations, my whys! Everything I felt I put it in writing using my own words, grammar and expressions. That has helped me tremendously. I have all my writings. They are very special to me. Just yesterday I had the opportunity to read few of the things I wrote early in my grief. I am so thankful I have been able, with God’s help, to move forward.

Listen to a reputable, respected Christian station. I recommend Moody. It is Bible centered and their programs priceless.

Make a Bible verse or a few verses your own. Memorize them. Repeat them throughout the day. In my case I learned 1Tes 4:13-18, Romans 8:18, John 10:28 and many others. I will post all the verses and passages in the Bible that I have found uplifting in another post. All of these are promises from God! Ponder about them even if you don’t feel like because they are all TRUE.


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